If you’re feeling stuck in life, look at what’s making today’s decisions for you. Is it something that happened yesterday, or something you’re afraid might happen tomorrow?
The past can teach you. The future can help you prepare. But neither one can take the next step for you. That belongs to today.
In Chapter 14 of The 4% Life: The Vital Few Choices That Change Everything, Alex Abuyuan explores how to get unstuck by changing your relationship with time: learn from yesterday, prepare for tomorrow, and act in the present.
What happens when the numbers change overnight?
In September 2007, Alex’s insurance agency recorded a milestone: $1.9 million in new premiums in a single month.
Then the credit markets collapsed. Mortgage lending slowed, and mortgage protection, a primary market for his agents, was hit hard. By December 2008, monthly production had fallen from $1.9 million to $275,000.
At 2:00 a.m., his mind traveled in both directions. He imagined the worst that might happen next: What happens to my family? What happens to everything we’ve built? Then he turned backward, looking for blame: Maybe I should’ve seen this coming. Maybe I grew too fast.
When the future feels uncertain and the past feels full of mistakes, it’s easy to get caught between the two. You replay what you should have done. You rehearse what could go wrong. And the choices right in front of you wait.
“We can spend an incredible amount of energy traveling between two places that don't exist in the present: yesterday and tomorrow. Meanwhile, today is sitting there waiting for us to do something.”
Alex had to learn to live one day at a time. Not because the situation was easy, or because he had every answer. Because the business could only be rebuilt through the actions available to him that day.
What does “Yesterday doesn’t get a vote” mean?
Yesterday doesn’t get a vote. It gets a voice.
That distinction matters. Your past can offer evidence, lessons, and earned wisdom. You can admit a mistake, make an apology, and change how you approach a familiar challenge. But the past doesn’t get to cast the deciding vote on what you do next.
“The past leaves fingerprints. But fingerprints aren't handcuffs.”
A difficult experience can leave a mark without becoming a life sentence. In the language of The 4% Life, the past is information, not instruction.
Alex also draws on the ideas of psychologist Alfred Adler, who challenged the notion that our past causes simply push us through life. He emphasized the role of purpose, goals, meaning, and present choices. In practical terms, that means you can take your history seriously without treating it as a fixed script.
Are you carrying an event, or a verdict?
There’s a difference between saying, “The business failed,” and saying, “I’m a failure.” Between “That person said no,” and “People don’t want me.”
The first describes what happened. The second turns what happened into an identity.
“Once the meaning becomes identity, the past starts voting in present elections.”
That vote can show up when you avoid applying for a role because a previous employer rejected you. Or when you stay silent in an important conversation because speaking up once led to conflict. The old experience may explain why the choice feels hard. It doesn’t have to make the choice for you.
Fear is learned. So are some of the stories we tell ourselves about failure, rejection, and what’s possible. What was learned can be questioned. Your biography is real, but it isn’t your destiny.
Are you preparing for tomorrow, or borrowing trouble?
It’s wise to plan. You can prepare for a meeting, think through a financial decision, or ask for advice before taking a risk. But preparation is different from spending today living through an event that hasn’t happened.
“Fear is real. The event may not be.”
You imagine the conversation going badly before you have it. You imagine the business failing before you launch it. The fear deserves care, but it isn’t proof that the outcome is certain.
As Alex puts it, “Tomorrow deserves preparation, but it doesn’t deserve today’s fear.” Prepare where you can. Then bring your attention back to the step that is actually available.
The Three Battles: Which one can you fight?
The past, future, and present can each pull at your attention. But only one is something you can act in: the present.
During the business downturn, Alex couldn’t rebuild his business next year. He could only rebuild it that day. Then he could get up and do it again.
“I couldn't rebuild my business next year. I could only rebuild it today. Then I could wake up and do it again tomorrow.”
That’s the heart of the Three Battles:
- The battle of yesterday: What happened? What can I learn? What meaning have I attached to it?
- The battle of tomorrow: What can I reasonably prepare for? What am I worrying about that hasn’t happened?
- The battle of today: What does this day require from me?
Alex found that last question small enough to answer. And small enough to act on.
How do you stop overthinking decisions?
You don’t have to solve your whole life before you move. Try asking: What does today require from me?
That question narrows your focus. It can lead you to make one call, have one honest conversation, finish one important task, or put a meaningful next step on the calendar. Clarity can make courage possible, not certainty about the entire future, but enough clarity to take the next step.
“How long does yesterday get to keep charging me interest?” Alex asks. You can’t undo what happened, but you can stop financing it with every new decision.
Try this today: Come Back to Today
Set aside ten minutes with a notebook. The point isn’t to force a dramatic answer. It’s to separate what you know from what you fear, then choose one useful action.
- Name what you’re carrying from the past. Write down the event. Then write down the meaning you gave it. Keep those separate. What happened is not automatically a verdict about who you are.
- Identify tomorrow’s borrowed trouble. What are you afraid might happen? Has it happened yet? Name what you can prepare for, and what remains outside your control.
- Use the three-part rule. Ask: Past: What do I need to learn? Future: What do I need to prepare? Present: What do I need to do?
- Find today’s vital few. If you could do only a few meaningful things today, what would matter most? Choose them, and put them on the calendar.
- Return when worry rises. Ask: What is actually true right now? What is the next faithful action available to me?
Finish with this sentence:
Yesterday taught me… tomorrow deserves… but today I will…
If writing this out would help, the 30-Day Alignment Reset companion workbook includes guided pages for reflection and action. The spiral-bound edition is 194 pages, full color, and lies flat; there’s also an instant digital workbook edition.
What you’ll discover in this chapter
- Your past can teach you without defining you.
- Tomorrow is worth preparing for, but not worth fearing all day.
- The vital few choices that shape your life are made in the present.
- When you feel stuck, asking what today requires can reveal a next step.
Chapter 14, “Yesterday Doesn’t Get a Vote,” is part of Alex Abuyuan’s book The 4% Life. Alex (a U.S. Air Force Academy graduate and former Air Force officer, with a master’s degree in economics and decades of leadership experience) writes about the real work of learning, rebuilding, and continuing.
The book’s framework is simple: Past: Learn. Future: Prepare. Present: Act. Your 4 percent is not my 4 percent. It’s the vital few choices that matter in your own life, and they can only be lived today.
You can read Chapter 2 free on how fear is learned, or read Chapter 4 free on the vital-few principle. If you'd like to read the full book, get paperback and hardcover editions here, or order a personally signed copy with an optional personalized inscription. It's also available as an audiobook on Audible.
And if you’re trying to sort through a specific decision, you can book a discovery call with Alex. No need to have it all figured out. Start with what today requires.
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